A couple of weeks ago, I held persuasive speech at university trying to convince my colleagues to do less Small Talk and try to not scratch on the surface all the time. And as I am really passionate about this topic, I thought I would share my thoughts on this blog as well. Now you are probably wondering why I chose this topic-Small Talk can be nice after all, right?
I’m gonna tell you a little story of when I moved to Vienna one and a half years ago and started going to university. I had always been outgoing so I got to know a lot of people there who I talked to during lectures or went on a coffee with fairly recently. However, I still felt quite alone and unsatisfied despite being surrounded by nice and friendly people. The ”problem”, I figured, was that the conversations, even though they were nice, were just small talk and about nothing the other people or I really had on our mind or actually cared about.
One day though, for whatever reason, I brought up the topic that university was quite different from what I had imagined it to be like and how I doubted it and myself a bit. To my surprise, the group I was with in that situation suddenly seem to be really relieved. They told me that they felt the same, that they were not sure if they were studying the right thing and that they felt a bit alone in the new, completely different city and surrounding sometimes. From one second to another, we had broken the barrier of small talk and I finally felt a real human connection to them. Even though we do not study together any more, I made real friends in the moment I decided to ditch small talk.
So I am not suggesting you talking to the cashier in the supermarket about your biggest fear in life-what I want to encourage you to do is having the courage to talk about things you actually care about and ask people questions you are really interested in instead of what you think you “should” ask. Because otherwise, you are missing out on really getting to know people and building closer friendships-and this is what we are all really looking for in life, right?
On this note: Get out there, meet like minded people and dare to talk to them about something other than the weather 🙂