Hello my dear!
Another post in English once again 🙂 While I was going on a short run this evening, I let my thoughts wander as I always do whilst running. Amongst others, I thought about the topic of being on your own. First of all, I want to stress out that I am talking about being “on your own”, not being “alone”. For me personally, there is a difference in meaning between those two impressions: While being alone signifies loneliness, something unwanted, being on your own does not have to be negative and can also be a choice.
Before, I used to be afraid of being on my own-I desperately tried to avoid it at all cost. I would consider myself a social person who enjoys being around other people and what I did was fun, but also exhausting. I scheduled meetings with friends literally every evening. For example, I went karaoke singing on Monday, went for a night out on Tuesday, had friends over on Wednesday, went to the cinema on Thursday and to my school’s prom on Friday-this was an actual week of mine last year.
However, keeping yourself busy in order to never be alone and have to face yourself and your feelings is no answer in the long run. You either burn yourself out because you drown in appointments, or a moment without company will come eventually and everything you wanted to surpress and put in the deepest, darkest corner, comes up to the surface again and hits you with full power.
Nowadays, I am fine with being by myself and actually need my me-time. While I still love meeting my friends and surrounding myself with other people (to me, people, their stories and what shaped them is actually the most interesting thing on earth-that is probably why I study social sciences), it is totally ok for me to spend an evening by myself. January definitely isn’t my favorite month of the year:christmas blues, a lack of vitamin D and exam season, which means loads of time spent locked up in my room on my own. I simply cannot study with someone else and most days, I am more distracted in the library than in my flat. Last year, those conditions were horrible for me when I had to study a lot for my very first exams at university. In the meantime, as stupid as it might sound, I actually kind of enjoy it. Well, enjoying probably is not the right word for it, I rather see it as a great opportunity to decelerate my life and reflect on things in general and myself in particular. I would say that I usually lead a rather busy life and have most of my days planned out. If I have free time, I use it to go to events, explore nature or travel to other cities. In January, however, I only stay in Vienna or Linz, where my family lives, and also take part in comparably little social activities. On the one hand, I do this because I study best in the evenings when I usually meet with my friends (who are also pretty busy and have little time during January) and on the other hand, I consciously try to slow life down for a little bit before starting lots of exciting projects again during my break in February. And I have to say, it actually feels good.
So as kind of a conclusion to this post, instead of your every year-new year’s resolution of losing five pounds,I challenge you to spend a bit more time just by yourself for the next month. Because in my opinion, true strength lies within us and only by confronting us with ourselves, we find out who we really are.